I see the canvas as a space where everything has permission to exist—a place of radical acceptance of the present in all its richness, paradox and uncertainty. In making marks I make problems to solve and in the process work through my own conflicts and confusion.
I choose colors based on their emotional resonance within the changing dynamic of the whole, and allow the hard edged forms to define and redefine themselves as the painting progresses. As a result, there are many layers and a hidden, yet significant, necessary framework.
I’ve come to realize that I usually hit a point with every single canvas where I feel utterly hopeless and stuck. As real as it feels every time, this stage is actually the defining moment. I recognize where I have been holding on too tightly. This is when I often kill the part of the painting that I was stubbornly preserving, and soon after the sky breaks open leading to resolve and transcendence.
It’s such a strange practice, but I think the ritual mirrors life. We step into situations without knowing why, or we have circumstances thrust upon us and all we can do is make our way through, try to make sense of it and keep moving forward. Along the way we might come to a point where we feel absolutely clueless and lost. In these scenarios we are often forced to let go of a cherished or habitual idea, mode, or relationship in order to be ripe for the next thing that will make us grow. We cannot get to a place of peace or deep understanding without going through it all.