The Death of the Painting by Alyson Khan

fullsizerender-83I recently destroyed an entire canvas, a thing I haven't done in a long, long time. And the weird thing is is that this canvas was ultimately about grief, about the cycles and nuances of the process of letting go--and of finding yourself new again. I had intended to keep this canvas, to show it, to even sell it maybe. But it turned out to be a majorly challenging thing that took me full circle in a way that I could not have ever planned or intended or hoped. I had worked it and reworked it. It had so much paint, so much thought and patience layered in. But it bothered me day after day until I finally approached the canvas and was moved to destroy it. Once the impulse took ahold of me and I knew I wasn't going to save the piece, I paid close attention and I learned that...

It's ok to let go of something you've poured your heart into, that you were sincerely committed to for a long time, that you believed in and were sure it would ultimately work. It's ok to let go, to admit that it just wasn't going to pan out, that there were good parts and that you learned a lot and worked some shit out along the way. But now the right thing to do is let go. F-ing let go. Stop clinging to hope. Stop relying on the interlocking knotted up network of assumptions that holds you aloft in a disconnected trance. Stop obsessively revisiting the places that you just can't f-ing resolve.Stop wishing for the magic to somehow click-in and make it all good. Stop trying to sand down the marks that are so permanent, well-run, over-known and overdone. Recognize that even if you surgically removed the unsolvable areas that absolutely don't go right with your deepest knowing, the gaping holes would never ever make sense in the bigger picture anyway. Let the whole thing go. Walk away. Take a deep breath. Feel the relief. Be free again.

new patterns by Alyson Khan

I am making patterns derived from cropped images of  my wood are 3...more to come...

On the verge of… by Alyson Khan

I am not sure what I am supposed to do in this world other than make things with things. Seriously.

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Half awake in a dream by Alyson Khan

I amall the way awake each day. So aware of how the system-structure-it’s-just-what-you-do “reality” Does not fit. Not me Not my children

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Roll-offs, rectangles, and reverence by Alyson Khan

Artist Alyson Khan writes about her new routine of climbing into roll-offs to hunt for wood scraps for her assemblage pieces.

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New work in the woodworks by Alyson Khan

Here are some early photos of work in progress. I am working on "wood collages" made from lumber off-cuts salvaged from builder sites around the city. It's the next step. Getting more dimensional and larger in scale. [slideshow]

Spring 2011 by Alyson Khan

Big Collage Commission by Alyson Khan

[slideshow]Here is a photo of the commission piece I created for a client's office. It will hang above a beautiful couch that is a deep brown with purplish undertones. There are two green-gold accent chairs in the space as well. This piece was based off a mini collage in the previous post. I am really happy with it and now feel confident to continue working larger scale with collage elements.