The Abstract Chapel by Alyson Khan

I have learned A LOT not only about being in the studio, but how facing the canvas regularly as a practice and all the things that come up in that process relates to life and no doubt brings healing. It's a serious laying of the self at the altar. A sacrifice of the resistance and bullshit to a true calling--something creative and life-affirming.

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The Death of the Painting by Alyson Khan

fullsizerender-83I recently destroyed an entire canvas, a thing I haven't done in a long, long time. And the weird thing is is that this canvas was ultimately about grief, about the cycles and nuances of the process of letting go--and of finding yourself new again. I had intended to keep this canvas, to show it, to even sell it maybe. But it turned out to be a majorly challenging thing that took me full circle in a way that I could not have ever planned or intended or hoped. I had worked it and reworked it. It had so much paint, so much thought and patience layered in. But it bothered me day after day until I finally approached the canvas and was moved to destroy it. Once the impulse took ahold of me and I knew I wasn't going to save the piece, I paid close attention and I learned that...

It's ok to let go of something you've poured your heart into, that you were sincerely committed to for a long time, that you believed in and were sure it would ultimately work. It's ok to let go, to admit that it just wasn't going to pan out, that there were good parts and that you learned a lot and worked some shit out along the way. But now the right thing to do is let go. F-ing let go. Stop clinging to hope. Stop relying on the interlocking knotted up network of assumptions that holds you aloft in a disconnected trance. Stop obsessively revisiting the places that you just can't f-ing resolve.Stop wishing for the magic to somehow click-in and make it all good. Stop trying to sand down the marks that are so permanent, well-run, over-known and overdone. Recognize that even if you surgically removed the unsolvable areas that absolutely don't go right with your deepest knowing, the gaping holes would never ever make sense in the bigger picture anyway. Let the whole thing go. Walk away. Take a deep breath. Feel the relief. Be free again.

The Open Safe by Alyson Khan

06_september-29-2016 This painting is inspired by tribal designs, temple walls and shameless devotion. The work is titled "The Open Safe" because it's feels like a sacred box that's been opened and inside are special things that one can share. It reminds me of this quote by Annie Dillard: "Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.” It's better to open up rather than to remain shut.

Featured on HommeMaker by Alyson Khan

Fabuloso designer, Orlando Soria, wrote a feature on his HommeMaker blog about my painting. The article is part of Saatchi Art's #noblankwalls campaign in which they are working with well-known designers who are writing about the importance of art in interior design.

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